I know I am a sinner, but there are days when it just hits me harder than others...I am particularly cranky, overly discontent, and irrationally sensitive. I try not to be. I sense those emotions rising up in me. I pray, asking God to rid my heart and mind of these selfish desires. There are times when I feel moments of victory but most times I continue to struggle. Like Paul, I find I continue to do the very things I don't want to do. And, the things I want to do, I don't do. (For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Rom 7:19)
Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me.
That is my appeal. Again and again. Like the Apostle Paul, I know I am unrighteous. I know I fail at keeping the law and I am intent to outright break the law. Knowledge of my frailty keeps me clinging to the righteousness I have through faith in Christ .(Not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ. Phil 3:9)
Only sin sick souls can delight in the following gospel refreshments. Hearts are reoriented once again to the truth that yes, I am a sinner, but in Christ I have been made a saint.
"You are fully forgiven and loved for his name's sake alone Not anything you have done, will do, or are doing now will ever establish any other relationship with God. He did all this for you when you were without strength (unable to perform); ungodly (not like him, and what he did not like); a sinner (enemy); and hostile to the blessed God Who loves you. He has freely bestowed this love upon you as a permanent possession, and He loves you without any merit on your part.
Lay hold of this precious love by faith and you will never hide from God or man again. God loves you! Jesus died for you! Who can be against you? No charge can ever be laid against you in His sight. He has fully justified you on the grounds of Jesus Christ's finished work, His blood has washed you white as snow in the sight of God. His love will make you whole; free you from a lifetime of guilt, fears, inferiority complex and dreary loneliness; and open wide the gates that have long imprisoned you. It is nothing you have done. It is the precious blood of Christ that even now cleanses you continually from all manner of sin and sins. His blood and righteousness. What a precious fountain for uncleanness!
God has accepted you in the beloved Son - what need have you to grovel at the feet of men, ever performing to win their fleeting acceptance and favor? What need have you ever again to fear to be yourself? God loves you as you are! How shall you ever be lonely when He Himself is with you, and will be with you as long as the precious eternal blood of His Lamb is on the mercy seat in heaven for you?
At last you can walk with Him without shame, and walk with men in the reality of who you are. Your days will be cool, and God will be your Friend; and perhaps you will enjoy a little of paradise while still on this earth." ~ H.L. Roush, Sr.