This constant tallying will kill my relationships and it will kill your relationships.
No, it's not an instantaneous death. It's a slow smothering. It's a stifling suffocation that happens when air is cut off, when the very thing that is meant to bring life to relationships is gone and you're left choking; gasping for the one thing that saves -
When grace reigns in a relationship, scorekeeping comes to an end and we become free from the slavish burden of having to fix one another. ~ Tullian Tchividjian
From pages 282-284 of Father Capon’s Kingdom, Grace, Judgment: Paradox, Outrage, and Vindication in the Parables of Jesus:
That, I take it, is the point of Jesus’ words against reciprocation and repayment. Jesus is saying, ‘Listen, you are absolutely mired in your scorekeeping, bookkeeping lives. You are so busy trying to hold the world together by getting your accounts straight that you hardly have time to notice that it’s falling apart faster than ever. Why don’t you just let go? Thumb your nose at the ledger! Drop dead to the accounting! Because it’s not just one more thing that can’t save you; it’s the flypaper that catches everything else that can’t save you and leaves you stuck with it forever. Look, I’m on my way to Jerusalem to die so you can be saved, free for nothing. I’m going up there to give you a dramatic demonstration of shutting up once and for all on the subject of the divine bookkeeping. What’s the point, then, of your keeping records when I’m not? ~ Robert Farrar Capon
Seriously! What is the point of scorekeeping if Jesus isn't? I know I need to be done with this endless, exhausting practice of keeping score! Jesus has one scorecard that reads "I've won it all"!